Same Auld Lang Syne
by DiNishaRob
Summary: you never forget your first love. Edward reunites with an old familiar face. songfic. oneshot. holiday gift to readers.


**Hello All, if you're reading this don't get too excited. It's not a new story, just a one-shot for the holidays. **

**I wanted to give my readers something and since it's officially Old Christmas (the day that wraps up the holiday season) there is no time better. This is an Edward and Bella story centered around one of my absolute favorite holiday songs off all time and is actually the name of the story itself. if you know the song you know the plot, but that doesn't mean you won't have the same emotional journey the song gives me when I hear it over and over.**

**So, hope your holidays were well and your new years is even better than the one before.**

**DiNishaRob**

* * *

**Charlotte, North Carolina**— **Christmas Eve**

"Amazing concert Edward!" Alice—my personal assistant—congratulated handing me a bottle of water the second I got backstage.

Rosalie, my long legged publicist pulled herself away from her Blackberry just long enough to agree with her, "Best one on the tour so far."

I was panting with a grin a mile wide, the cheers of the crowd keeping me amped. "You've said that for the _last_ three shows Rose, but thanks." I breathed taking the long hallway to my dressing room. I accepted a few more congrats along the way.

"Well then you shouldn't out do yourself," She responded simply, her lavender eyes already bright from the reflection of her screen again.

I stopped being impressed at her ability to keep from running into things years ago. I often wondered if it was due to the fact she had the super senses of a blind man, but then again; if the wind blew the news that Rosalie Hale was coming, a _mountain_ would move out of her way. "You're topping the trends on Twitter right now."

"So? Trending topics change every twenty minutes." I reminded her as I collapsed into my chair. "I just finished a concert; it only makes sense that—"

"_No_ Eddie, you've been a trending topic all day." She clarified showing me her phone, it was a media report reserved for people just like her, the spikes, graphs, and percentages would bring down my after show high if I took the time to care or understand them, so I just had to take her word for it.

Alice was handing me my cell phone before I could ask for it, already knowing that I'd want a _normal_ view of what she was talking about. "Here you go Ed."

I'd swear the girl was psychic sometimes. "Thanks."

Before I could pull the app up, Alice was back to being a pale blur around the room, instructing the makeup artist to be on standby for removal, while she packed up the personal things I never traveled without.

There were thousands of Twitpics, tweets, and DMs from fans not just in Charlotte but nationwide. My name with a hash-tag brought up more results than I could count, and even though I knew each personal hit meant more publicity and revenue all I saw was the love of fans.

**Thanks for all of the love NC. Happy Holidays **

Though Rose had offered a million times, telling me that most celebrities let someone else handle their accounts, I refused to let anyone handle my social media interactions other than myself.

"The heart at the end was a nice touch," Rosalie approved, of course instantly alerted that I'd posted.

An artist was scrubbing away at my face so I was forced to find her in the mirror. "I didn't do it for kudos."

Her eyes found mine in the reflection, an amused smile playing on her lips, "I know, that's what makes it cute." Then she turned to Alice almost instantly, "Alice we need to make sure our calendars are synced before we separate for Christmas, heaven forbid we miss something between now and Richmond."

She stopped her zipping around long enough to answer, "Alright, let me get my phone." The second she picked it up, it started vibrating. "It's for you Ed, Aro." She apologized handing me the phone with a grimace. She knew that I was hoping to make the next few moves without hearing from him.

I gave her smile and took the phone letting her go back to her bouncing from one side of the room to the other making sure everything was absolutely perfect since her phone was occupied. The tiny obsessive compulsive hired by my mother had been a God send.

"Hey Aro," I answered.

"Eddie boy!" My long time manager boomed, "How was the show?"

"It went amazing, but then again you'd know if you where here." I reminded keeping my tone pleasant. Rose was already scowling at the mention of his name.

Aro used to tour with me when I first started, but when Rose joined on four years ago and neither one of them saw eye to eye he decided it'd be _safer_ for him to manage and negotiate from the Chicago office, and keep their paths from crossing unless absolutely necessary. They were both territorial, but she had a little more bite.

"Yeah, well theses deals and endorsements aren't going to come along on their own." He laughed, and it was loud enough for Rose to roll her eyes. "Speaking of deals, what would you say to me adding a few more stops on your tour?"

I tried to keep my voice blank, "Depends on what those stops entailed."

"Nothing big, I'm not talking extra shows here—well maybe extend two days past New Years since you'll be in New York anyway, but that's neither here nor there. Rolling Stone wants to squeeze in a photo shoot and interview before Richmond."

"But I get a two day break before Richmond, it's Christmas."

"It's _Rolling Stone_. And we won't need you in D.C. until 26th, which means you'll have Christmas to yourself."

I didn't want Christmas to myself; I didn't want to spend the holidays in a hotel room. I wanted to spend it with my Mom and Dad—something I hadn't done the past three years. "But—"

"Give me that," Rose demanded, taking the phone from me not really giving me much of a choice. I didn't even notice she'd moved close enough. "Marcus, what are you doing?"

She listened to him rattle and gave me a narrowed eyed glare I knew wasn't for me. "I'm his _publicist_, so I'll handle his publicity. Reschedule the interview with Rolling Stone for _after_ the tour, or if they'd like they can send a representative to us _after_ the tour has restarted….He already has an engagement…" My eyes shot up, glad that Marcus wasn't there because I would have given us both away. "I don't have to run it by you because I'm his publicist... You've got to reschedule it because you were stupid enough to try and do my job behind my back, I don't care how it makes you look…. Well I hope it humbles you…..So help me I will come to Chicago myself if you—Good—then Merry Christmas."

Satisfied with their clipped discussion she handed the phone back to Alice. "You're all set for your break; we'll see you in Richmond on the 27th."

"Thanks for lying for me, I owe you one." I breathed gratefully.

"Oh don't worry Edward I plan on cashing in, the celebrity auction you refused to do last year; I'm signing you up."

Her smirk was so sinister, I almost wanted to call Aro back and tell him I'd do the Rolling Stone interview, and then I thought of my parents fussing over the house, anxiously awaiting me home for Christmas. "Fine, I'll do it."

"With no fuss," She conditioned, continuing to pack up her own things.

The door swung open—the sound of the fans pouring into the soundproofed dressing room—my friend and long time body guard letting himself in, "Yo, we moving out soon or what!?"

"Can you be any louder?" Alice snapped, mostly embarrassed that he scared her.

Emmett just grinned at her, "Scared you didn't I?"

"Don't antagonize her," Rosalie warned with a scowl of her own.

That didn't really faze him either, "It's hard not to when she's all cute and tiny."

"The perfect height to punch you directly in the balls," She countered handing him her small overnight bag.

For an instant he paled, gulped, and then was back to his normal self. "Noted," He agreed taking the bag from Rose in exchange for a kiss. "Hey Ed, you ready for Operation Liberation?"

"Good title," I chuckled standing to swing my bag over my shoulder.

Alice sucked her teeth and stood in front of me, "He just chose the words because they rhymed, there's nothing clever about it."

"I thought about that name for ten minutes," Emmett corrected offended, "Had to use a thesaurus and everything."

"Oh your plight," Alice pretended to sympathize while she touched her phone with my own to sync data. "All you have to do is get him out of the amphitheater; I have to coordinate travel, requisition a vehicle, and foresee all possibilities of it going wrong and Aro having all of our asses."

"Which is why I love you dearly," I reminded her without hesitation before she had the time to change her mind and abort mission.

Her cheeks blushed pink, but her scowl didn't fully disappear. "Stop trying to charm me and listen up. You're set to leave out of Charlotte Douglas at two-thirteen, that's going to give you quite a bit of down time but you _can't_ hang around at the airport. The longer you're there the more likely someone's going to notice and you'll be swamped and never make it home."

"Not to mention, I'll have to explain to Aro why you're at an airport when you're supposed to be on a tour bus heading north." Rose added for good measure.

She was right. With celebrities being caught in mischief left and right the big wigs that represented my endorsements tightened my contractual duties while on tour, even during the rare breaks I got between cities, I wasn't aloud to go anywhere that hadn't been previously planned and approved before my tour started.

Emmett and the others were doing me a favor sneaking me away for forty-eight hours to go home for Christmas. The least I could do is not get them burned for it.

"So find a dark place to hole up for the next," I looked down at my watch, "three or four hours, got it."

"Your car is parked in the employee side lot," Alice continued seamlessly, handing me the key. "I've already arraigned for it to be picked up in the overnight lot at the airport. Your plane lands in Boston at four-twenty Christmas morning. You'll have a full day before you have to take a three am flight from BOS to RIC."

Rose took over, "That's where the hard part comes in. You'll have to be and at it by seven for sound checks, autographing signing, and a short interview before your show. You'll have no time for rest, and I'm sorry we couldn't give you more time, but I'm going to need you at one hundred percent."

"And I will be," I promised, grateful that they were pulling the strings for me. I'd take an adrenaline shot—which I always refused— if it meant not letting them down. "Thanks for this, I meant it. I love you guys."

Emmett shifted awkwardly on his feet, never really feelings comfortable with emotional moments. "Yeah, well, thank us after it works."

Rosalie dialed a number and rattled off a very direct command, "Send in Riley."

The guy that entered was about my height, and build, and was wearing the same black tracksuit as me, but other than that looked nothing like me. I really hoped he wasn't hoping to pass as my double.

"This is your double." Alice informed confirming my fears. "You'll go out first, sign a few autographs, make a few appearances, and you'll switch spots right before you get on the tour bus."

I eyed the guy warily, "I don't think it'll—"

"Of course it'll work, my plans always work," Alice snapped trying to hide that she was offended. "Now you go get in place—and you with me."

Riley just gave her a yes ma'am and scattered off to some place they previously discussed. We waited a few minutes before taking the long hall towards the back of the amphitheater.

The crowed got louder and louder the closer we got, but my friends where just as focused as they were leaving any other gig. "Here we go," Em breathed.

"Smile for the camera Eddie," Rose instructed with her face in her phone trialing behind like always.

I was blinded by flashbulbs and deafened by screams but smiling and waving was something that came second nature to me. Every few paces I would stop, take picture with a fan, sign something, thank them for their support and continue on the other side.

About halfway out Alice handed me my shades hooking her arm with mine so that she wouldn't get lost in the hustle like she always did occasionally grabbing something for a fan that was too far to get to me, letting me sign it before handing it back.

"Good luck," She whispered giving my arm a squeeze. It was so low I could barely hear and, and had no idea what was happening until I realized the four of them had boxed me in just as we passed a narrow tunnel that lead downstairs to the employee lot.

Riley grabbed me by my jacket and snatched me away from them, pointing down the hall before seamlessly fitting himself into the box they made. I watched Alice hook her arm with his like nothing had happened before they moved on, and I got the hell out of dodge.

Finding the all black Kia wasn't hard either, it was parked in the far corner of the lot. Quickly sliding in behind the safety of the tinted windows before I could get caught I let out a breath of ease.

Pulling out and into traffic, I found a station that wasn't playing Christmas music and turned on the heat. The traffic dulled out once I got a few miles from the theater, but it took about an hour to get to that point. Letting it sink in that all of the cars were there for _me_.

Even though I dreamed about being a famous singer since I was a kid, and had actually spent the past six years doing just that, it was still surreal. Almost everyone dreamt about being famous and popular. Wanting to be admired, and loved by the millions that surrounded them, but very few understood the price you go had to pay in return.

Sure I loved the traveling, touring, and photo shoots my first years, but that feeling dulled out in my second and I felt different all together by my third. It really wasn't as glamorous as it might look. The novelty of traveling wears off it quickly and becomes monotonous and routine. When you wanted to go somewhere you couldn't as a regular person, and oh too many nights I'd end up shut inside hotel rooms.

Deciding that the safest bet would be to park somewhere quiet until it was late enough to head to the airport I pulled off on the first exit I found, immediately disheartened that every drive through I passed was closed.

"Well it's ten o'clock on Christmas Eve Cullen, what did you expect?" I muttered to myself continuing to drive, turning on my wipers when the first real flurries of snow flurries started to fall.

I found a sliver lining in the form of a grocery store another mile down the road, promising myself that I could duck in, grab a few things, and leave before anyone could notice who I was. I turned off the car, and shifted around to give the car a full on inspection.

On the floor in the back, I found a small overnight bag and my leather jacket. Inside the bag was everything I'd need to keep myself entertained for the next few hours; tablet, laptop, iPod, my Nintendo, as well as my notebook and pen incase I was in the mood to write songs.

I couldn't hold back the smile as I slid on my jacket and stepped out into the fluffy shower of snow. Over the years my team and I had become genuine friends that looked out for each other, and I was beyond lucky to have them. Because that was another downside to being a celebrity, you never knew who was there for you. Who was just there because they were paid to be there or because they want a piece of the fame. In life, it was always hard to tell who your real friends were and that multiplied times a hundred being famous. With Rose, Emmett, and Alice, I never had to question.

"Merry Christmas," An old woman greeted with a smile, huddled close with the man walking next to here. "Merry Christmas," he greet as well, shifting the groceries so that he could wrap an arm around her.

Though they looked nothing alike, they reminded me of my parent. They were the type of couple you couldn't help but smile at. "Merry Christmas," I greeted as we passed each other, and I walked into the store.

I did my best to shake off the mild envy of the couple as I walked through the aisles. People don't seem to realize that it doesn't matter how rich you are if you are centrally lonely and despite the fact that I'm surrounded by hundreds of people all the time, I can still be quite lonely. Unless you're an absolute narcissist it's relationships that give your life purpose, meaning and fulfillment and I'm often quite poor in that department.

I was grabbing a few bananas when my phone vibrated. "Hey."

"What are you doing?" Rose demanded not bothering to say hello back.

I didn't _do_ anything to be in trouble, but I answered carefully just in case I was mistaken. "Getting something to eat?"

"Is that a question or is that what you're _actually_ doing?" She laughed with a lighter tone in her voice, and surprisingly laughter in the background. "I told you I could scare him."

I sighed and moved to the next aisle, shoving Pop Tarts in my hand basket. "You three don't have anything better to do on Christmas Eve?"

She tossed it over in her head. "Well, there's this guy… that works security for this famous guy…who surprisingly has great breath control—"

Alice was protesting in the background before I could, "Ewww—No—Gross" But Emmett just started laughing again.

"Stop picking on my assistant," I ordered, not that it would hold much weight.

"You should see how red she gets …" I didn't really hear what else she said because a laugh distracted me.

No—it couldn't be. I whipped my head around in the direction the laugh came from, but the voice was already fading down another aisle. "Guys… I'll call you back." I barely managed to garble before I ended the call to follow the voice.

I froze at the end of the aisle instantly lost in swirl of chestnut and auburn waves. The lady's face was covered by her hair but I knew it was her. Isabella Swan, my late high school—early college sweetheart, the first woman I'd ever loved.

"….well that's what happens when you wait to do your Christmas shopping…" She giggled, lectured and continued to shop, oblivious that I was even there. "I didn't wait until the last minute; I'm _adjusting_ to the last minute guests I'm having for dinner tomorrow."

Her petite frame quickly walked to the next aisle, continuing down her list finding everything effortlessly, and I followed her met with a hundred questions as I did so. How was she? What was she doing now? Did she graduate? How were things with her family?

I knew that all I probably had to do was go over there and say hello and I could get every question that swirled in my head answered, but fear halted me. I mean sure, we didn't necessarily part on horrible terms, but I wasn't exactly the same Edward either.

—

We'd met our sophomore year of high school when she had given me a black eye. Back in the small town of Forks, they still divided the gym down the middle for the girls to practice PE on one side and the guys on the other. It was another cold and rainy Thursday, the kind of day where basketball day was the only thing you had to look forward too.

I was walking with my normal friends, Mike, Ben, and Eric, pretending to play badminton until half the girls were finished and it was out turns to switch. The four of us cared as much about badminton as the girls cared about basketball, so we just watched. Most of the girls were huddled off in groups talking about what girls talked about, while a handful made their best attempts at the game. Mike summed it up perfectly by saying it was a 'fucking waste of court time'.

The four of us laughed and headed over to ball rack so that we could claim a spot the second the girls rushed off, and there was this girl chasing down a really awkward rebound halfway across the gym. Judging by the way she ran, how the pale girl caught the ball without falling over was beyond me, it was an even _bigger_ mystery how the second she caught the ball her first instinct was to turn around and try to shoot it back at the net for a three. She wouldn't have made it—even if I wasn't standing in her way—she pushed the shot with too much force, and way too low, launching it directly in my face. It knocked me over, and sent me flying into the rack of balls, like I wasn't humiliated enough. She apologized a thousand times trying to help put the balls back on the rack, but ended up knocking the second rack over trying to help.

I snapped at her to just back away because I knew she was trying to kill me, and I looked up into the reddest face and the saddest brown eyes and felt like she because she seemed just as embarrassed by the situation as I was. I went to her house after school to apologize and I guess the sight of my shiner made her feel worse so I didn't get that far. Deciding to give it another try when my face was back to normal, I sat with her at lunch and liked her pretty much right away.

We were inseparable for the rest of high school and both went on to UDub still head over heels. She was an education major and despite the fact that I'd always wanted to be sing and write music, I chose the route of liberal arts. It wasn't until the second year of college, when I found out Bella had sent a few of my songs to SESAC—something I never got the courage to do—and actually got a response from the New York office offering me a chance to write professionally did we ever think about where the two of us were heading.

She decided that it was best that we part ways, that even though we cared about each other, I needed to go for the chance in New York, and she needed to finish the path for her career. We both swore that we'd keep in touch, and for the first two years we did. But as we both quickly started transitioning into adult world, and the label decided that I shouldn't just write, but sing too—contact faded between us.

—

We hadn't seen each other in nine years, so how would she react to seeing me now? Her phone conversation had ended, and I was still following her from aisle to aisle debating on approaching. It wasn't until she walked down the frozen aisle, finished her conversation, and was putting the last few items in her cart that I found the courage to steal behind her and touch her on the sleeve. "Hello Bella."

She spun around and I could tell she didn't recognize me but remained polite with confused and questioning eyes, "Um, Hel—"

Her brown eyes flew open and her jaw dropped when she made the connection. "Oh my god…" She breathed with eyelids fluttering a mile a minute.

I tried my best to read her expression, frustrated that our time away from each other made me rusty. I had no choice but to wait for her to process whatever flashback she was having and gauge her reaction before I could do anything else.

"Edward…" She finally managed to choke out just as breathlessly as her first words. "You're…here…in …Charlotte."

Okay, so she wasn't upset about seeing me, just surprised, so I didn't feel bad about teasing the awkwardness away. "Nine years Bella, is that the greeting I get?"

"No, of course not. Hi." She breathed opening her arms in an attempt to hug me. The contents of her purse spilled on the floor before she could close and we both squatted down quickly to pick them up sending our foreheads colliding together—hers a bit harder than my own.

"Ow." I hissed the same time she did, but she added an expletive or two.

"Shit," She swore rubbing the front of her head, most likely to keep from looking at me she was so embarrassed. "I'm sorry I didn't—" She stopped apologizing when she realized I was laughing. "I guess our meets haven't changed much." She laughed too putting the last few things in her bag before she stood up wiping away a small tear.

She was still the same klutzy Isabella, nine years didn't change that much. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," She explained quickly with a wave of her hand, like the details of her life weren't important, "What are _you_ doing here."

"Had a show tonight," I answered just as quickly.

She eyed my hand basket skeptically, "Which brings you to a vacant grocery store, late at night to buy junk food?"

"I'm supposed to be in hiding," I explained in a conspiratorial whisper. " I'm on the run, it's too long a story to explain here, especially since I'm not supposed to linger anywhere too long."

She nodded thoughtfully giving her list another glance down. "We'll I'm checking out, are you finished?"

I started to tell her that I was finished a good twenty minutes ago, but since that would lead to me explaining that spent the rest of the time following her through the store debating on saying her or not, I just nodded.

Leading me up to checkout I started asking her all of the questions I could unsure how long we had together. "So, how have you been?"

"Good—good." She answered quickly with no elaboration. "And yourself?"

I answered just as fast, "Great." I nodded putting my things on the belt before shoving my hands in my pockets. "How are Renee and Charlie?"

Her eyes lit up at the mention of her parents, "Oh they're doing great. They got remarried three years ago."

That was definitely news since they were divorced long before Bella his single digits, and seemed adamant on staying that way. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, paying for my college kind of forced them to communicate, and somewhere between graduation and grad school they decided to give it another go. Mom packed up the house in Florida and moved back to Forks." The way she glowed at the retelling would make the hardest person soften.

"Renee, hated Forks." I recalled with crystal clarity.

Bella nodded with a smile on her face, "I think _everyone_ hates Forks—apart from my dad— but she loves my Dad more. They're happy and going strong."

"Hey, some people are just meant to be. I'm glad it's working out."

It was her turn to ask me something, "How are Esme and Carlisle?"

"Great, I'm heading home to see them in a few hours." I went on freely, "I moved them out to Boston once Dad retired. I wanted them to move to New York but—"

Bella was laughing and shaking her head before I could finish. "Oh god no. Esme in New York City? I can't picture her not fighting that one"

She knew my mom well, because the second I mentioned New York my mother had adamantly refused. She liked the quaintness that came with small town life, so it took more than my fair share of begging and pleading to get her to accept leaving Washington at all. "It was a fight to get her to agree to Boston." I admitted with a chuckle, surprised at how easy our conversation was coming back to us. "But I put on the sad eyes and explained that I it'd be easier to get home if they lived closer—"

"And she just melted and surrendered." Bella guessed with ease. I raised my eyebrows and she just shrugged, "No one can resist your puppy eyed pout."

"You're one to talk," I muttered in response, getting lost them for a second, the stirrings of unease knotting in my stomach.

The cashier—a man in his mid forties—sighed impatiently, "Eighty-two, fifty."

Bella turned back at the cashier and pulled out her purse, her cheeks tinting pink in embarrassment—our dragging conversation holding up his night. "Oh—sorry. Here you go." He just nodded and swiped the card quickly, if I had to guess based on his attitude we were probably one of the last customers of the night and he was more than ready to go.

"Merry Christmas, have a nice night." He deadpanned handing her a receipt barely giving her a glance before ringing up my groceries with lightning speed. "Twelve—twenty"

Bella swiped her card again before I could even pull out my own. "Bella—"

The cashier didn't really are as long as it was paid for, and he handed her the receipt repeating the same required "Merry Christmas, have a nice night."

Bella just shot me a wink and pushed her cart outside leaving me dumbfounded with a bag. Without thinking I rushed out after her. "Why did you just buy my things?"

Her hair was saturated with fluffy clusters of snow, which quickly bounced up and down on her fast paced walk to her car. "You were gonna what? Pull out a card that read Edward Cullen to pay for your things? I'm pretty sure if you're trying to stay out of the public eye, saying 'hey I'm Edward Cullen' isn't the best way."

She was right, not that I was going to admit it. "I could have paid cash you know."

"And since when do you carry cash?" Bella challenged with a crook of her eyebrow as she popped her trunk.

The smirk on her face said she _knew_ she had me. "Okay, well let me at least help put your things in the car." I insisted, not really waiting for her to say yes or no.

I asked her about a few old mutual friends of ours as we loaded her car, and she caught me up as best she could since she admittedly hadn't been home in a while either. I told her it was the same for me, but at least her family came into town when she couldn't make the trip.

"Thanks for the help Edward, it was good seeing you." She smiled hugging me again, that same familiar flutter returning. For a second, I thought she felt it too but she pulled away too quickly for me to know for sure. "Get out of the cold, and give Carlisle and Esme my love."

"Bella." I called after her before she could walk around to the door of her car. I wasn't ready to let her go. We'd caught up on our parents and friends, but neither of us touched on each other, and I wanted—no _needed_ to know what she'd been doing all theses years. "I've got a few more hours until I need to fly out, want to grab a drink or two and catch up?"

She threw a smirk over her shoulder and opened her car door. "It's a dry state. It's Christmas Eve, there aren't any bars open."

"Oh." I sighed wondering if I should extend another invitation, or if her not suggesting an alternative was her indirect way of saying no.

She bit her bottom lip—her tell-tale sign of running things over in her head. Then with a sigh she pressed her unlock button again, "Get in." And without giving it a second thought I did. She got in only long enough to turn on the heat, leaving the engine idle to warm up.

"Stay put," She ordered and disappeared into the snowfall. She was gone just long enough for the heat inside the car to reach a toasty 75 before she pulled the door open again letting the 30 outside breach.

"You still drink Guinness?" She asked with a bright smile.

"Does every day of the week end in 'y'?" I took the six pack from her, and she shifted the car from park, backing out of her space. Her cheeks and nose were so adorably red I couldn't help but smile, at the fact she remembered. She wasn't the only one that remembered little things like that. I couldn't count how many times over the years some one would say or do something that reminded me of Bella. But I couldn't let my mind get too far, or my heart would start to wonder what it all meant?

. "You're the black Audi right?" She was looking at me with a cocked eyebrow, expectant. Before I could say what she repeated herself, "Your car—it's the black Audi in the far corner of the lot right?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice right away. "Yeah, how'd you guess?"

She snorted and rolled her eyes turning that way, "Give me some credit, there's only ten cars in this lot, and no one in their right mind would park this far away while it's snowing."

Realizing it wasn't exactly rocket science I snorted myself. She pulled in the space next to mine, left the engine running and started shaking out of her coat. "Pop one open for me will you?"

"We're drinking in the parking lot of a grocery store?" I muttered in disbelief popping open two.

She held them both while I discarded of my own jacket, tossing it in the backseat so that I could turn and face her. "We haven't done this since high school, remember? Stealing Carlisle's beer, hopping in your Volvo, and driving to La Push?"

I nodded and chuckled at the memory, "Ah yeah, back when we were young, and innocent enough to believe my dad never noticed. He totally knew, but never told my mom because there wouldn't be more than one or two missing at a time."

"Then here's to innocence," She toasted with a musical laugh handing my bottle back.

We clinked, "To innocence." I agreed taking a swig, relishing in the flavor of that rich Stout with a hint aftertaste of coffee. Mm, it was heaven in the form of a liquid.

I started the conversation with her this time—since I didn't know how long I'd have her company, I didn't want to waste anymore time talking about my parents, her parents, or our old friends. "Bella, tell me what you've been up to since we lost contact."

"Oh you know, life here and there," She shrugged taking another swig.

I snorted, "Nine years later and you still hate talking about yourself, spill."

"You don't want to hear about me, let's talk about you." She insisted still trying to deflect, searching through the stations on the radio for something to play in the background.

Instinctively I reached out to stop her, and felt a jolt—a shock—that traveled from my hand in the line that went straight to my heart. She froze for a second, but the composure on her face didn't give away much. She could have felt it too, or it could have just been from surprise at how easily the casualness came back.

Trying not to make a big deal out of it, I have the hand a gentle squeeze before letting it go, "Please, tell me about what you've been up to."

Her eyes narrowed in caution but softened in seconds, "Fine. I never could ignore that puppy eyed pout."

I settled in ready to listen.

She gave me another wary glance but with a sigh recalled the last nine years of her life as simply as possible. "Well, you know about UDub, since you were there too. I graduated on schedule and worked as a substitute teacher while I got my masters."

"Did you stay in Washington?" I asked looking for specifics.

She shook her head, " No Angela and I decided to head south for the duration of our education. We both went to UCLA. Once we got our Master's she took a placement at a high school in New Mexico. I took a job teaching English in California."

"But… you didn't like it?" I guessed noticing the pucker between her brows.

She shook her head, "No, I liked it just fine, I just, felt like I needed to do more. I took some night classes, earned a few more certifications, and now I've been a career counselor at a magnet school here for the past three years."

"And you like it?" I guessed easily.

"I _love_ it." She corrected with a smile on her face, "There something about helping young mines figure out what they want to do in life, and help the find the path that'll get them there. It's taxing, but it's worth it."

"Not everyone knows what they want to do at that age; it's good that people like you are willing to help guide them." Bella always had the knack for helping people find their strengths. Or in my case—encouraging them to put fear and uncertainty aside long enough to use them—it was a good fit for her.

She smiled sweetly staring down at her half empty bottle. "Yeah, I like to think I found my niche."

"Okay, now that you've caught me up career wise, what about romantically?" I pressed taking a swig of my own for bravery. Since I noticed she skipped the subject of love altogether, there had to be a reason, I just wasn't sure if she was trying to spare my feelings in the event that I was right, or her own in the event that I was wrong. "You telling me no special guy snatched you up all these years?"

Her smile faded, but she forced it back into place to lift her head to mine. Taking her hand out of her pocket she wiggled her fingers in front of me, displaying a delicate white gold band on finger. "It'll be four years this March."

I kept my expression even, the news not really surprising me, but the reality of seeing the ring on her hand, hit my stomach like lead. Of course she'd be taken. She was smart, fun, driven, caring, beautiful, honest, and the most empathetic woman I'd ever known. "So, tell me about him."

She only gave the basics, "His name is Jacob, we met at UCLA our last year. He's an architect."

An architect—that was suitable profession for someone like Isabella. She deserved the stability, someone to keep her warm, safe, and dry. She needed someone that she could come home to every night, not someone out on the road being chased by tabloids without a moment of privacy. I knew it, but I still felt a twinge of jealousy.

"Kids?"

She shook her head finishing off her beer. "No, we're both _really_ busy."

"Well, maybe someday." I tried to keep my voice from deadpanning. She didn't respond, and I finished my own. "You're happy though right? You love him?"

"I did when I married him." She admitted honestly in a low voice. She wouldn't look at me; she just stared out the window in the direction of store. It'd been closed and empty for about forty minutes now, our cars the only two left in the vacant lot.

Okay, so her marriage had problems. "Bella… I"

She turned back to face me. "No Edward, I don't want to talk about it. I want to keep this mini reunion happy and I can't do that talking about my marriage without lying, and you know how much I hate lying."

The stern set of her mouth, fierce eyes, and the way her brown waves clashed against her fair skin left me forgetting about her life outside the car completely. She left me in awe.

"What are you staring at?" She asked uneasily sinking her teeth into the flesh of her bottom lip, making her that much worse.

I shook my head clear, "Nothing, you just haven't changed a bit. Almost ten years later and you still have those same hypnotic eyes, and poetic mouth."

Her cheeks flushed pink again, but she did her best attempt to scowl. "Edward Cullen still finds me pretty?" Her tone dripping with amused sarcasm and attempt to tease— but there were traces of gratitude, with a mix of doubt in her eyes.

She didn't linger in her self confidence long, which was something I'd loved since I met her. "That's funny coming from one of GQ's most beautiful."

I suppressed a sigh, I hated making any list that ranked my looks. I was a musician for heaven's sake. Couldn't it be about my talent alone? "Not my choice, believe me."

"Yeah, yeah, but the point still stands." She laughed perking up now that the conversation wasn't about her anymore. "You're doing well for yourself."

"You were checking up on me Bella?" I accused and she rolled her eyes.

She just shrugged sarcastically, "I may have seen your album at a Best Buy here and there, weren't you on TV. a few times?"

I knew she was obviously joking, but I did want to know how much she followed my career. I wanted to know what she thought about seeing me on television, hearing me on the radio. Did she resent me for it? Was she a fan? "Did you follow my career?"

"You mean—buy your albums, go to your concerts and watch all your interviews?" She asked for clarification.

I nodded and she shook her head. "I mean, yes and no. I bought your first album. Hell my mom has them all. But going to would have been too weird. I'd catch an interview here and there but I figured you had enough people stalking you."

"Famous life, wasn't what I'd thought it'd be." I admitted, taking the opening she'd given met to share. She listened to me pick up where we left off, explaining the past nine years of my life. The whirlwind I wasn't ready for but learned to accept. I told her about the very few friends that were close to me, and how they helped me have moments of normalcy here and there. I told her—everything.

"It sounds like a love, hate relationship."

"It is," I agreed with her. "I love writing, I love getting my songs out there and know that they touch people, I love the rush of performing, and the energy of the audience. The traveling, no privacy, and the contractual obligations are what make it hell."

"But I bet you wouldn't trade it for the world." She snickered pulling out two more bottles.

I took mine gratefully. "Would you trade your job for anything?"

She shook her head at the rhetorical question and twisted the top off her bottle. "So what are we toasting to this time? It's your turn."

It only took a second to think about it, "Well you made a toast to the innocence of then, so I'll toast to 'now', to our success."

"Here, here." She clinked before moving the conversation down memory lane.

For the next hour we reminisced together and finished off the six pack, starting from the first time we met, following all the way up to our last months together in that small apartment we shared just off campus.

"I miss this," I admitted when an awkward silence lingered between us, both of our tongues tired, and time running out on things to say.

She blinked up in surprise but admitted the same. "Me too, I'd forgotten how perfect things where when it was just us. Not complicated—just—easy."

"Then why'd we lose touch?" I insisted honestly unable to remember.

She gave me another sad shrug, "Well you know, you were busy with music in New York, on the verge of being a superstar. You didn't need your small town ex-girlfriend calling you every other day."

"Going to New York didn't have to end us, you chose that." I reminded, hearing an unreadable emotion in her voice. "And those talks were the highlight of my week."

She let out a small sigh, " You don't get it Edward."

"Then explain it to me." I stressed taking her hand more than ready to put on the puppy eyes if need be.

I didn't. "I _lived_ for the days I talked to you Edward, but you were so focused on your next trip back home that you couldn't focus. You wanted to sell out arenas since before I knew you and the longer you were at UDub the more played with the idea of settling for something else. So I stepped back."

"Stepped back?" I repeated in disbelief, " Bella—what we had wasn't settling, I wanted _you_, I wanted to marry you."

Even though it was the first time sharing that thought with her, my words didn't shock her. "I know." She admitted sadly. "And I would have said yes, but not before you gave yourself an honest shot at living your dream. You'd have resented yourself or me for it later."

"You don't know that." I argued raking a hand through my hair.

She counted me just as quickly, "You don't _not_ know that."

Hooked my hand behind her neck and furiously brought her lips to mine. I didn't think, if I had even for a second I would have remembered that she was taken, and kissing her broke all of the rules. But I didn't care. I wanted to see, I wanted to know, I wanted to feel if that spark we shared years ago was still there.

She moved into me without a thought of her own and there it was, her mouth was soft, but there was a hint of possession under the surface. One hand pulled me close, while the other raked though my hair. I let my lips nibble hers open, giving me freedom to slide my tongue over them, between them, clouding our senses with the flavor of each other.

Heat gathered like a fireball in my lungs long before I touched her and exploded when my hand snaked subtly under the bottom of her sweater, just along her side. It was her mouth I originally wanted, those lips as tempting as they always were, but the moment her lips met mine, I knew it was too late, I wanted all of her. Not just physically, but in every way possible. I wanted everything back and I didn't care what it cost.

With a shaky sigh Bella froze, just as amazed as I was that the charge between us was still this strong. She gave the clock on the dash a glance and with another sigh released me. "You have a flight to catch, and I have to get home."

The simplest sentence was so loaded with reality it felt like getting hit with a battering ram. Home—where her husband, his family, and heaven's knows who else was waiting. I just nodded.

I pulled my leather jacket back on, and slid out the car, ready to abandon the warm for the harsh cold. She was out before I could walk around to my door, extending her arms for one last embrace. "Give Carlisle and Esme my love?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "You too with the folks."

She flashed another sweet smile and leaned up to kiss me again—this one a lot more chaste than the one in the car. "Take care of yourself. Merry Christmas Edward."

"Merry Christmas Bella." I breathed, and I watched her get back into her car and drive away, once again taking my heart right along with her.

With a sigh I slid into my rental, turning the heat on full blast and set the GPS for the airport. I thought about Bella before I even hit the highway. I wasn't sure who coined the phrase, but 'you never forget your first love.' And in my case, I don't think the flame ever burned out.

But with another sigh I took the exit for the airport, heading home for the holidays, the snow that made the moment so intimate minutes before, now shifting into rain.

—

On the drive home, Bella shifted her rearview mirror to the opposite side, no longer able to stand the sight of her eyes in her reflection.

"I did the right thing," She muttered to herself, an attempt at comfort but failing all the same. It'd been hell to give Edward up all those years ago, and was surprisingly just as difficult to let him drive away tonight.

When she reached a stoplight, she used the few seconds to open up the center console. It was there she kept her albums—his albums— and settled on the Holiday Cd, his newest one.

Turning to her favorite track she crossed the intersection and let his voice fill the speakers, serenading her all the way home.

**_Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?_**

**_Should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld Lang syne?_**

* * *

**Okay, there is is. Now T.T.L. readers, I'll see you this week as well but until then.. see ya.**


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